It's a dream come true!

"...and I tried to open my own Orange Julius, but everyone got sick, really sick, and some died and everything. But.. I don't know.. maybe I'm just not a lucky guy.. and, and, and, and.. maybe, a guy like me doesn't deserve anything like that..."

Inside Jokes 2006

"Dan Davis"

"I should have gone to City College"

"Deal"

"Situation"

True Story

Once, I got a strange phone call on my cell phone:



Me: “Hello?”



Old Guy: (obviously speaking to somebody while holding the phone) ”…no, I’ll load her up and take her with me personally…”



Me: “Hello?”



Old Guy: “…Hello?”



Me: “Hello? Can you hear me?”





SIGNAL FADED! CALL WAS LOST!

Star?

It just occured to me that regardless of what part a person plays in a porn movie, they are referred to as a porn "star". Not a porn "actor" or "participant". I mean, *some* of them are famous, and therefore potentially "stars"...but not many.
There just isn't a less-boastful generic term for them.
For example, not everyone is a rock star, some are just "musicians". There isn't an equivalent in the porn world.

Movies

You can't change a movie. No sir. When watching a movie, you just keep seeing whatever they want you to see. The whole thing smacks of communism.

Cheese

There comes a moment when you realize that cheddar is, by default, cheese. When something come 'with cheese' you can almost guarantee it will be cheddar. Other cheeses have added adjectives to differentiate them, swiss, provolone, etc.

Except when dealing with pizza, then the whole theory just falls apart.

ouch.

Useless

On Wednesday at two minutes and three seconds after 1:00
in the morning, the time and date will be 01:02:03 04/05/06.

That won't ever happen again.

I couldn't care less.

Nonsense

I'm like the Elvis of Castle-times.

I'm like the Pork of the Desert.

I'm like the Coke of the Bible.

I'm like the Wheel of the Ocean.

I'm like the Guitar of Sports.

I'm like the Sound of Taste.

I'm like the Red of Purple.

I'm like the Jug of Space.

I'm like the Coach of Paper.

I'm like the Stereo of the Forest.

I'm like the Thumbtack of Sad.

I'm like the Fajita of Bears.

I'm like the North of Pants.

?!

"...Robert Louis Stephenson wrote The Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde during a six-day cocaine-binge..."

Cutest. Kid. Ever.

Photo by Jon Shultz

Wookiee Scalps

Hello Everybody. It's 2006!

Now shut up.