Mustard

Mustard is the silent-assassin of the condiment world.

You never see it coming.

Basically, if what you are eating has Mustard on it, you will get some on you.

You won't realize it at the time, Mustard is too smart for that, you'll instead find the tell-tale dried, yellow smudges...hours, or even days later...

You'll reach to get something out of your pocket, and BAM!

"Mustard? When did I eat Mustard?"

Mustard just laughs at you. Mustard knows that it is the best at what it does.

Ketchup is too flashy and confident. Ketchup doesn't even try anymore. You *know* when you have Ketchup on you...It drops on your clothes right there in the open. You see it fall. It has nothing to hide.

Mustard has seen Ketchup's folly, and learned from it. It creeps in the shadows of your meal, flavoring your food, but also watching you...waiting to the moment to strike....Mustard has you figured out...

Mustard is not your friend.