I'm-a set it straight, this Watergate...

Yesterday, Someone said that I looked like one of the guys from the Beastie Boys "Sabotage" Video...

It wasn't my intention...but I could do worse...In fact, I think it's pretty kick-ass...

Separated at birth.

Please Don't Shoot Me.

You know that scene from the opening of Office Space, where the geeky, white computer nerd character is blasting some hardcore rap from his car stereo, singing along?

Well, as of yesterday, I'm that guy.

I bought Jay-Z's "The Black Album", and I can't stop listening to it...

I've never felt whiter.

Horse Nostrils

Below is an instant messenger conversation between my Sister and I, about current Teen Pop Sensations, and their horse-faced siblings:

Sideburns says:
I saw the Duff sisters standing next to each other during the VMA Preshow, and the
other one, the one that was in napolean dynamite, has a way bigger nose...
TV 14 Debbie says:
totally
Sideburns says:
it's much more noticeable when they stand together
TV 14 Debbie says:
yeah. she's blonde now too
Sideburns says:
was she not before?
TV 14 Debbie says:
no
Sideburns says:
news to me...i don't really follow crappy chick singers that much
TV 14 Debbie says:
i'd just seen a pic of her on msn talking about how the dark hair didn't work
for her
Sideburns says:
which one of them?...now I'm confused
TV 14 Debbie says:
the younger one
Sideburns says:
uh...the "not hilary" one...
Sideburns says:
it still starts with an "H" though...
TV 14 Debbie says:
i thought it was ashlee?
Sideburns says:
You're thinking of Ashlee and Jessica Simpson
Sideburns says:
I'm talking about Hilary and "Not Hilary" Duff
TV 14 Debbie says:
i thought that's who you were talking about?
TV 14 Debbie says:
oh! ... haylie? some weird spelling like that. god, why do i know that?
Sideburns says:
you know...I'm not really sure what I was talking about now
TV 14 Debbie says:
neither am i.
Sideburns says:
So yeah, moral of the story? Haylie "Not Hilary" Duff has a big nose
Sideburns says:
ashlee simpson does too
TV 14 Debbie says:
yes! but i was talking about ashlee simpson, who also has a much bigger nose
than her sister.
TV 14 Debbie says:
either way.
Sideburns says:
i guess sisters of popular singers just have bigger noses
Sideburns says:
it's a scientific fact
TV 14 Debbie says:
guess so. and look at ashton kutcher's brother. Freak Show!
Sideburns says:
i guess I've never seen him...
TV 14 Debbie says:
he's downright gross.
Sideburns says:
ok
TV 14 Debbie says:
you know in house of 1000 corpses, tiny? kind of like that, but no beard.
Sideburns says:
wow.
TV 14 Debbie says:
"tiny fucked a stump!"
Sideburns says:
classic
Sideburns says:
during the conversation about noses, I really wanted to work the phrase "Horse
Nostrils" into a sentence somewhere...but I never could fit it in...
TV 14 Debbie says:
oh well. valiant effort.
Sideburns says:
you're too kind

Strange things afoot at the Taco Bell

I went to Taco Bell with my sister for lunch today.

According to the "Crazy Lady" behind the counter, their soda machine caught fire earlier in the day, and "...were it not for the rapid response of the Midwest City Fire Department, we wouldn't be standing in this building right now..."

Since their machine was out of order, they had a dozen or so 2-liter bottles of soda to fulfill the drink orders...I got Mt. Dew Code Red, because it still tastes ok when it's a little warm...it still sucked though...

Now, about the "Crazy Lady"...We call her that because she is super-hyper, chipper, and just a wee bit manic...She often talks in a sing-song voice, and makes bizarre comments about your order. Things like "Will those be c-rrrrrrr-unchy tacos!?" and "Chik-Chik-Chic-KEN BURRITO?!"...Imagine those questions very loud, and very unbalanced...She also looks kinda crazy...Always sweaty and with a weird haircut spilling out from under a dirty Taco Bell hat...

She kinda scares me, but dammit I loves the Taco Bell food...I'm an addict.

Engrish

Recently, it should call to me, many interesting thing and there was plural optional photographs which it should post. However, this week I found some original by my makes interest cause in order to say. I try the fact that in the future it corrects this.


Rock, Rock on.

I don't want no volunteers, I don't want no mates, there's too many captains on this island. Ten thousand dollars for me by myself. For that you get the head, the tail, the whole damn thing

I may be getting another Part-Time Job next week...Giving me 2 jobs total...

I feel so...responsible...

I try to be good hard-worker-man, but refrigemater so messy, so so messy

Random MP3 Post #3:
Death From Above 1979 - Dead Womb

Death From Above 1979 - Romatic Rights

"Vámonos, amigos," he whispered, and threw the busted leather flintcraw over the loose weave of the saddlecock. And they rode on in the friscalating dusklight

an uneventful weekend, filled with boredom and cash register receipts...


now poor, but with new CDs to listen to, I await the next uneventful weekend...

until then, I have my "Three's Company Season 1" dvd to keep my company...



Also,

Free Food at Rose State College!

I shall leave you as you left me, as you left her: marooned for all eternity in the center of a dead planet, buried alive. Buried alive.

Random Website of the Day: http://www.khaaan.com/

...a little bit rock 'n' roll...

My top three favorite songs of all time:

#1. Nirvana - "Heart-Shaped Box"

Everything I like about Nirvana, rolled into one song...Beatiful melodies, loud guitars, and the now famous 'soft-verse/loud chorus' dynamic. Add a simple-but-effective guitar solo, and a classic feedback ending, and you have the makings of my favorite song.

#2. Foo Fighters - "Everlong"

Just simply one of the greatest songs ever...This song isn't so much "written" as it is "composed", every aspect of this song is just crafted to perfection. Dave Grohl will never again write a song as good as this, and neither will anybody else...

#3. Weezer - "Say It Ain't So"

This song used to give me chills during the "...Dear Daddy, I write you, in spite of years of silence..." verse, when the music changes...



And, in no particular order, a sampling of my other current favorites:

AC/DC - "Back in Black"
Queens Of The Stone Age - "No One Knows"
Moby - "Porcelain"
Beatles - "A Day in the Life"
Beatles - "I Am the Walrus"
Coldplay - "Trouble"
Tom Petty - "Mary Jane's Last Dance"
Journey - "Any Way You Want It"
Kansas - "Carry On My Wayward Son"
Foo Fighters - "Exausted"
Outkast - "Hey Ya"
Stone Temple Pilots - "Creep"
Far - "Mother Mary"
The Pillows - "Carnival"
Beck - "Little One"
Nirvana - "Aneurysm"
Pearl Jam - "Immortality"
Tool - "Forty Six And 2"
A Perfect Circle - "Orestes"


So, call up your favorite file-sharing software, or dust off those old "CD's" that people used to listen to, and give these songs a spin...

(MP3's of these songs are available upon request)

The Problem with Teen Wolf Too

I further cemented my burgeoning obsession with the film "Teen Wolf" this weekend by buying it on DVD. I seriously could watch this film once a week for all eternity...It's not so much that I really *like* it, as much as it is that I don't *mind* seeing it...Some of my favorite films I can't stand seeing more than once a year...

There is a problem, however...

On DVD, Teen Wolf comes bundled with the abomination that is "Teen Wolf Too"...it
hurts me to even type it...

"Teen Wolf Too" is the lame sequel to Teen Wolf. It stars (I use that term loosely) Jason Bateman, as Michael J. Fox's cousin, who also has body hair issues...None of that matters however, because they did the unthinkable...they recast "Stiles"...

For those who haven't seen either film, "Stiles" is Michael J. Fox's stoner buddy...the type of character that shows up a various points in the film, wearing humorous t-shirts, and saying the best lines in the movie...And in "Teen Wolf Too" the producers had the nerve to recast him with an actor who neither looked, nor acted like the original...It's like a slap in the face...

Imagine if, in the 2nd 'Lord of the Rings' film, they recast Samwise with Corey Feldman or the guy who played Balki on 'Perfect Strangers'...and he had a mullet...It's *that* bad...

I think my Brother said it best: "...every King Arthur movie is only as good as it's 'Merlin', just as every Teen Wolf movie is only as good as it's 'Stiles'"

I'm still angry just thinking about it...I need to lie down...

Mustard

Mustard is the silent-assassin of the condiment world.

You never see it coming.

Basically, if what you are eating has Mustard on it, you will get some on you.

You won't realize it at the time, Mustard is too smart for that, you'll instead find the tell-tale dried, yellow smudges...hours, or even days later...

You'll reach to get something out of your pocket, and BAM!

"Mustard? When did I eat Mustard?"

Mustard just laughs at you. Mustard knows that it is the best at what it does.

Ketchup is too flashy and confident. Ketchup doesn't even try anymore. You *know* when you have Ketchup on you...It drops on your clothes right there in the open. You see it fall. It has nothing to hide.

Mustard has seen Ketchup's folly, and learned from it. It creeps in the shadows of your meal, flavoring your food, but also watching you...waiting to the moment to strike....Mustard has you figured out...

Mustard is not your friend.

You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know... morons.

I bought a cool new transformer toy yesterday...

It's stuff like this that makes me poor, but happy.



(Click the Pictures to Enlarge)

You wanna talk some jive? I'll talk some jive. I'll talk some jive like you've never heard!

The #1 reason that I'll never be a teen model.

Well, maybe if you told me they were delicious Triscuit crackers I could have enjoyed them with you.

You know how when you see a really dirty car, it's a common practice to write "WASH ME" on it?

You know how it makes you feel clever?

"I sure showed that guy" you say to yourself...

You're an idiot, and here's why:


One the way back from lunch today, I saw the funniest thing ever.

(Artist's Rendering)

I once shot a man just to watch him die. Then I got distracted and missed it.

There's nothing funnier that Steve Irwin getting molested in the mall...

Nothing.

Sergeant, burn the fields and when you're done with that, burn the house.

"Teen Wolf" was on cable last night, and it's one of those movies that no matter how many times you've seen it, you have to stop and watch every frame...

Here's some fun Teen Wolf Trivia:

"...For anyone who hasn't seen it, watch the last few seconds of the movie before the credits roll. Michael J. Fox blows off the Hot Blonde Chick to make out with his friend, Boof, which has to rank among the most improbable scenes in movie history. That's followed by Fox jumping into his dad's arms ...

only right as they start hugging, you see someone in a red sweater sitting behind them who stands up, and his pants aren't even buttoned, much less zippered up. And this goes on for about two seconds before he realizes what happened, so you see him calmly buttoning himself up. Two seconds later, they freeze on that picture and we get that creepy slow motion montage with the closing credits. Highest of high comedy..."

"These waves are mine."

Dude, let's go get lit and jump off the roof of my house.

I got a $2 bill in change from Taco Bell today...

Camera Phone Post #2

Delicious Nachos from Taco Bell.

Camera Phone Post #1

Awesome.

Well have you ever had skittles? It's all sugar.

I am now the (proud?) owner of a spankin' new Nokia PM 6225 Cell Phone Thingy.

It takes pictures!

It has internet access!

It costs me money!

I think it even makes phone calls...




And Radio Shack still sucks.

Celebrity Death Notice #2

Singer Rick James Found Dead in Los Angeles

"I'm dead, bitch!"

You wanna know what dog food tastes like? Do you? It tastes just like it smells... delicious.

I went with my family to go get one of those new-fangled "cell phones" today...we were going to get one big plan and split the cost equally among us...It turned into a big ordeal, and an hour and a half later, I had to go back to work...I have no idea if it worked out or not...

Stupid Radio Shack...

If I'm addicted to anything, it's sparklers.

So I surf on over to IMDB.com, and a headline jumps out at me:
"Falco's Secret Triumph Over Breast Cancer"
And my first thought is: "That Rock Me Amadeus guy had breast cancer?"
Then I realize that I'm a moron.

Come on, bring your green hat!

I went to Big Lots ™ on the way to work today, and picked up some snack food to store in my desk at work.

Big Lots ™ is a close-out store, so you can be reasonably sure that 95% of all of the food they sell is out of date, or dangerously close to it. But it's cheap! They also had some bootleg Transformers toys that were pretty cool...It didn't buy any, but I kinda like knowing that they're out there...

One of the things I did buy was a box of the deliciously awesome Gardetto's Snack Mix...The box contained seven 3.75oz bags, and only set me back $4...not to shabby...Now I don't have to pay $0.75 for a bag half the size from RSC vending machine...

Take that, Oscar Rose!

About Gardetto's:



Manufacturer: General Mills Sales, Inc.

Taste: This mix consists of knot pretzels, two kinds of bread sticks (one kind about an inch long and 1/4 inch in diamater, and another kind shorter, fatter and with sesame seeds), pumpernickel melba toast, and short pretzel sticks (about an inch and a half long). All items have a thin coating of a very tasty seasoning. There's less variety than some snack mixes, but it's a great combination, with no weak links. The melba toast and bread sticks are very crunchy, and the pretzlels are smooth, without much salt, giving the mix a great overall texture.

Aroma: Very little.

From the package: "Quality Since 1932" ... "If this product is not fresh or in good condition, tell us where and when you bought it, include the code and we will gladly replace it."

I am Jack's raging bile duct.

I'm going to hell.

Note: The original comic wasn't very funny either.

It's a '76. Won't be out 'til next year. But I know some people that know some people that robbed some people.

Thought of the day:

“Carry On My Wayward Son” by Kansas is seriously one of the greatest songs...ever.

You don't know the half of it. I'm like a big fireworks show. I'm pretty bright. Like Lite Brite.

Random MP3 Post #2: Far - Mother Mary

This suit is really cramping my Hardy Boys. It's no mystery.

Fun with Spider-man:

What is this? A center for ants? How can we be expected to teach children to learn how to read if they can't even fit inside the building?

I ate waffle fries today...

They kick ass...and so do I.

Dream Dusters ™ UPDATE

I finally aquired the ingredients and tried it out yesterday...

You have to be very careful with the amount of Tang Drink Mix you use...let's just say a little goes a looong way...

It's pretty good though...

( Click here for the orignal Dream Dusters ™ Post )

Crazy Game with the Wacky Name! Part 3

Current "Gay Fever" * Totals:

Me: 119
Nathan: 93
Aimee: 108


*Gay Fever is a license plate deciphering game, named after a scene from the film "Jeepers Creepers".

And this here's the TV. Two hours a day, either educational or football, so you don't ruin your appreciation of the finer things.

I wandered off from my desk today and went to the school library...I often do this, mostly to avoid work, and because I like to read...

I was lazily skimming the book titles, when a collection of 'Will Roger's Daily Telegraphs' caught my eye. I have always heard of Will Rogers, and I knew he had been described as a "humorist", but I had never really read anything he wrote.

The book appeared to be a collection of daily telegrams he had sent to America while he was in Europe in the 1920's...I read a few of them, and chuckled at a few obscure or dated phrases he would use, and after a while I realized that Will Rogers was really funny...He was talking about events and fads (such as swimming the english channel, a craze that apparently swept the globe at one point) that took place some 60+ years before I was born, but it didn't really matter because of his humorous writing style...He would write things like how he had been thrown out of a cricket match for applauding and being a "boisterous element"...

It's hard to describe, but it was funny...

I'm going to have to sneak off tomorrow and read some more...

You know, there's like a butt-load of gangs at this school. This one gang kept wanting me to join because I'm pretty good with a bowstaff.

Napoleon Dynamite.

This little film is, by far, the funniest movie I have seen since I went and saw Anchorman like, last week.

Napoleon Dynamite is the kind of film that is so good, it alters your vocabulary...You walk around for days saying "What the flip?!" and accuse people of "Eating all of our steak!" You dream of sweet bike jumps, nupont fiberware bowls, and ligers (bred for their skills in magic.)

Soon, the film will fade into memory, the phrase "This one tastes like the cow got into an onion patch" won't be a funny as it used to be, and I'll be able to look at tater tots without having a compulsion to stuff them into my pocket, but until then, I'll be throwing the phrase "Heck Yess!" into conversation until people beg me to stop.

LUCKY!

I caught you a delicious bass.

Is is possible that your feet can make you sleepy?

Until today I would have said "stop talking to me and go away"

But, today I bought some inserts for my new shoes...they're great!

It's like walking an a pillow! And now I'm really sleepy.